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I think I’ve recreated my school supplies stash in my weed drawer.
NEW SHIT SAME STASH
Eating gummy worms in head-to-toe latex outfits. Writing New Moon manifestations in glitter gel pen. Stashing a joint in a Little Mermaid PEZ container. This is LISA FRANX COVEN.
It’s virginity rebranded as a moral commodity, something you might be able to swap in for your very own Bachelor moment.
Anxiety and ambition are two sides of the same fire-forged coin, and in our cult of productivity, anxiety can easily be written off as ambition.
Are you meal-planning? Are you ketoing? Are you budgeting? Are you juicing?
Nah, man. I’m just EATING.
What Marie Kondo doesn’t articulate in her show is that, to do the method right, you kind of have to lose your mind to the prospect that your future self is waiting just beyond this pile of shit.
The holidays come but once a year, and in a hot garbage year like 2018, there’s a good chance that this season will catch you in your feelings rather than in the spirit.
We were literally less than 20 feet apart 90% of the time, but we didn’t even know the other smoked the good green. Like most great duos, we were brought together by a shitty dude who did us dirty (thanks Osh) and now we are more or less inseparable. (Have you seen our fuego photos?)
We thought we’d see how much we really know about one another. We hope you’ll do the same with your bud.
I don’t remember the first time I became aware of hormones, but I remember the first time some boy in my sixth-grade class responded to a small outburst of frustration from me with an indignant What, are you on your period? I stood in silence, letting my cheeks burn red and armpits gather with sweat. I didn’t know. I could have been. At 12 I didn’t know enough about my cycle to know if I was on my period in the way he meant it or not. With my apps, I could guard myself from the insult by preventing the outburst in the first place. If I could preempt the swing, then I could lessen it, deny it, suppress it.
Here at 2GIRLS1COVEN, we know that late capitalism is in direct opposition to feminist goals, but damnit if we don’t love a good deal. So we are rounding up some of our favorite Black Friday sales because we know you’re not trying to stay post turkey nap at the Thanksgiving family function.
The one tonight is perfect in its own way. It has more undone goo than some (a positive for anyone who’s not a monster). It’s got the right ratio of sugar to liquid to cocoa. It is just enough to satisfy my craving. Most importantly, it is all over quickly.
I grabbed the grimiest towels and patted the stain. The smell radiated in my nose. How in the hell could this smell stronger than actual smoke? I scrubbed the spot with the same carpet cleaner we used when our dog peed on the floor.
Allison Theresa & Beatriz Kaye are 2GIRLS1COVEN. Brought together through the black magic of an internet roommate search, A+B find that their lives are better lived together. They’re obsessed with all things culture (think less high brow and more just… high) and want to know your sun, moon and rising signs. (A-Aries-Libra-Aries, B-Leo-Taurus-Leo). Allison + Beatriz’s post bong rip fever dream is to create a space where everyone can share a story, a blunt, and a hot take.